Finding your way through grief and loss is a new package of coaching being offered by Brenda Pollack to help you deal with difficult times. Identifying and looking after our own needs when going through a time of bereavement can be hard. Here, Brenda talks about how loss can come in many forms and suggests some practices that can help you look after your wellbeing.
Maintaining Wellbeing Through Grief and Loss
Six years ago, I was struggling. My job, which I’d loved deeply, had changed fundamentally. New managers brought in new approaches, and the work that had given me purpose no longer felt right. I had no say in these changes, and I found myself stressed, unhappy, and unable to understand why I was taking it so hard. It was only much later that I realised: I’d been grieving. I was experiencing bereavement for something I’d lost, even though no one had died. The pain of that loss was unexpected, and actually led to me becoming physically ill.
More recently, I’ve been through the personal loss of two close family members. The grief didn’t just arrive when they passed – it began when we received diagnoses that meant we knew what was coming. It was a really tough time in our family. For me, at times, I felt the pain again of losing my mum and dad years before.
These experiences taught me that grief takes many forms and it can affect us all in different ways. Acknowledging the loss or the fact that you are in the midst of losing something or someone is the first step toward moving through it with compassion.
When Loss Goes Unrecognised
We often think of grief as something tied to death, but loss touches our lives in many ways. We can grieve relationships that end, identities that shift or health that changes. We can grieve the ending of a chapter, losing a part of ourselves, or a way
of life we can’t return to. When we don’t acknowledge these losses, our wellbeing can slowly deteriorate. We might feel stuck, anxious, or extremely emotional without understanding why. Becoming aware of the fact that we have lost something or someone and naming it as grief can help you start healing.
Grieving for the Planet
There’s another form of grief that many of us carry: ecological grief. When we witness species disappearing, landscapes changing, or seasons that don’t feel like they used to, we’re experiencing loss. We may be mourning a world we love that’s transforming before our eyes. This grief is valid and can significantly affect our mental health and wellbeing. Recognising it gives us the chance to process it and give the loss some attention.
Supporting Yourself Through Grief
However grief shows up for you, there are practices that can help. We are all individual and you may find different things work for you compared to what others find helpful. The key is to be curious and try things out.
- Name what you’ve lost. Simply acknowledging “I’m grieving the end of this relationship” or “I’m mourning who I was before illness” can bring relief.
- Accept the non-linear nature of grief. Some days will feel harder than others, even long after a loss. This is normal.
- Create small rituals. Lighting a candle, writing in a journal, or spending time in nature can provide some expression for your feelings.
- Connect with others. Isolation can intensify grief. Even small moments of connection can help. Arrange that coffee with a friend or go to the group that you think you might like. Being in connection doesn’t need to be related to your grief. It could be an exercise or craft class.
- Consider your own support needs. Sometimes we can be good at supporting others and forget our own needs. Remember that your wellbeing matters and
deserves attention. It can be helpful to talk things through with someone who understands transitions and loss to work out your needs.
Moving Forward
Whether you’re navigating personal loss or carrying concern for our planet’s wellbeing, you don’t have to do it alone. If you’re moving through a difficult transition and would like support in maintaining your wellbeing, I offer coaching that holds space for your experiences. I can help you find your footing when the ground beneath you has shifted. If you would like to explore some support then book a short call so we can see if it feels right for you.
I’m currently offering a low fee grief and loss coaching private package and have space for 3 clients left. It consists of four 50 minute sessions. The discounted price is £195 but for NOW supporters I’m offering a special offer of £180.
Contact Brenda here with any queries or book a complimentary chat to check if this support would suit you.
Brenda worked for many years at Friends of the Earth supporting local groups to bring about change for both people and planet. She founded The Stress Less Coach to provide training and coaching to support people and organisations that do good. Brenda also shares tips on stressing less and personal growth in her monthly newsletter. You can find out more at www.stresslesscoach.co.uk or follow her on LinkedIn or other social media channels.